Statements, Missions, Focus (Or, What Am I Blogging About?)

Recently, Pat Thompson (one of my favorite bloggers out there in the field of academic writing–she’s one of the few bloggers that I read religiously) posted about her blogging identity and how that particular blog responds to one aspect of her professional persona, which prompted me to think about my own blogging identity. Around the same time Fiona Barnett, director of HASTAC, asked readers for suggestions on personal websites, something I have been considering, but what made me stop and think was the fact that some chose to house their blog on their website and others did not. I understand the reasons, and oftentimes those whose blog was on their personal website was because the blog was related to their professional persona. Deanna Mascle, in part as a response to Pat Thompson’s post, mentioned that she tries to limit her blog to topics related to her professional identity, and that sometimes she chose to post unrelated topics elsewhere.

All this talk about where blogs fit in one’s online identity has me squirming a bit over here. For one, I did not conceive of this blog as a professional blog because it was supposed to be a creative outlet for my writing, a place where I could share my writing–and by extension, my thoughts–with others. I thought long and hard about the subheading to my blog, and settled on “From academia to writing to motherhood and all stops in between” because it seems general enough but also specific. Those topics were topics I felt were most common in my first year. Now that I am much more visible online and that I finally came out and used my full name in WordPress, I know that others will be able to find my blog just by my name; so, I think it’s time to articulate (if anything, to myself) what this blog is about.

Reading “How to Blog: My Rules” (a post that is much more honest and real than any other blog post about how to blog) forced me to think about my own blog’s “mission statement.” After reading Dinner: A Love Story‘s About page, I wondered, what would mine look like? The first thing that came to mind is that my blog is about writing, writing while being a mother, an (alternative) academic, a freshly-minted PhD.

So my task this semester will be to update my blog’s About page and to keep in mind that these things can change. And that it’s okay.

Dear readers: do you have suggestions for my About page? What do you come to read when you’re here?

Back to writing

I had major plans for my “winter break.” I say “winter break” instead of just plain winter break because there is no such thing as a break when you work in student support, at least not at my school. We work year-round, and take vacation at different times. Some take time off during school breaks; some, like me, plan vacation time around conferences. I’ll try to take a few days before or after the conference off so that I can get my act together at home or so I can visit family or friends when I travel. This winter break was no different. I planned on traveling to Boston for  MLA 2013, and figured that since I was not interviewing and I was not obliged to attend all of the panels at the conference, this time post-Christmas was the equivalent of a “winter break.”

Wrong. My plans for catching up on my writing projects and my reading came tumbling down because of a toothache that later erupted into a ridiculous infection in my jaw that left me looking like a squirrel storing nuts in one cheek.

The week before New Year’s Day, I was in pain most of the week and could barely think straight. The week of Christmas I went to work, but had trouble focusing for more than a few hours at a time, and I was counting down the days to my root canal appointment. The cocktail of antibiotics and painkillers I was taking was not doing its job. When I finally went in for my root canal on December 31st, I was finally rid of the tooth ache, but then the pain and swelling in my jaw was overwhelming. I called my dentist on New Year’s Day (the day before my trip to Boston) almost in tears. He switched my antibiotic and increased the dose of ibuprofen. I made it to Boston, and was sort of okay (except I couldn’t really open my mouth to eat anything solid) until Friday, when the swelling and the pain suddenly became so excruciating I had to visit an emergency dental clinic. (Thank you, Tufts Dental School!). The emergency intervention helped; the pain was less, but it wasn’t until the week after when my jaw was almost back to normal, the pain went away, and I could actually sit at my desk at work and not think about how long until my next dose of ibuprofen.

By then, I was behind schedule on my writing projects, and it seemed like I was getting email reminder after email reminder of things I had forgotten to follow up on. I had these major plans for winter break (prep my MLA 13 presentation, make headway in my writing support for academic health centers project for work, write an essay for an online academic journal and a blog post for Sounding Out!) and they all came tumbling down because of one tooth.

Just one.

That one tooth took up about three weeks of my life, and so last week, my first week back to normal (no meds, no swelling, no pain) I had so much catching up to do. Sometimes I think my body falls apart in order to force me to slow down. I don’t handle slowing down very well. However, I know I need to do more of that.

This year, I have some goals (I refuse to call them resolutions) and so with that in mind I tried to get organized. One of the things I want to do is publish more of my writing. In particular, I want to have a pitch accepted at a magazine or newspaper. In order to do that, I need to keep on writing and keep on thinking and keep on reading. I also recently took on the role of Associate Editor for University of Venus at Inside Higher Ed. Sounding Out! is never far behind (I’m editing a cross-blog conversation between Sounding Out! and IASPM-US on the borders between sound studies and popular music studies) and I am already thinking ahead to proposing a panel for MLA 2014. I like having these mini-projects on my docket, especially after years of working mostly on ONE major project. But I need to get organized if I want to keep my writing going–and also enjoy a break from time to time.

I’m taking time (outside of my 40 hours at work) for “writing projects” and “personal projects.” As an alternative academic, I work a full work week, and I can’t fit in my personal writing projects into my writing time at work. (I’m fortunate enough that my boss allows me some time to work on my research, but I can’t get away with calling all of my writing “research.”)  I’m taking this plan out for a test run. Maybe if I don’t obsess over writing every day (like Jo Van Every encourages in her blog post “Principles and Rules”) and focus on doing things regularly  that will further my writing projects, that will take away some of the frustration I feel when I look at my schedule at the end of the week.

I’m back to writing.

Do Not Be Afraid

Image: “Don’t be afraid to fail: by Flickr user Kewl under Creative Commons License 2.0

2012 was a good year. I got my PhD, I got married, and I got my first full-time job. (Yes, my first one; being a professional student will do that to you.) For the first time in a long time, I feel I am in a good place. However, I feel like I want to do more. I want a challenge.

A few months ago I wondered about what taking risks in writing looks like. I attempted to do #AcWriMo (Academic Writing Month) to challenge myself in my writing. I did not meet my large goal, but I did get back into the daily writing habit, which was one of my long-term goals. However, I still feel like I need a challenge…The PhD was such a major dream for me, and now that I’m here I have all this energy I can use in other projects. I just don’t know where to focus.

I have projects, I do. I have Sounding Out! which has grown beyond our wildest dreams–from a blog run by three sound aficionados to a full-blown web presence that showcases cutting edge writing about sound every Monday (and we’ve haven’t missed a beat in over two years). I have a long-term research project at the Writing Center where I work, a project on extra-curricular writing support at academic medical/health centers. I have a dissertation chapter I have to turn into an article this holiday season. I have my regular blogging duties for University of Venus over at the higher education website Inside Higher Ed. But it feels very comfortable.

I wasn’t sure how to articulate this feeling (or whether I was just being fidgety) until I came across Rania Anderson’s “Successful Women Make All the RIGHT Mistakes.” She mentions that her boss responded to a project she was working on by complimenting the mistakes she had made, and told her she should embrace those mistakes, “pushing the outer edges of what [she] knew, working toward more challenging goals and not worrying when some aspects of a project or assignment did not go perfectly.” I promptly tweeted:

I realized that the projects I have on my plate are projects I know I am good at. It also made me realize that the reason I haven’t embraced my freelance (side) job is that I am afraid of failure. I am afraid of something I don’t know how to work. Academia? I can handle that. I can navigate it. But freelance work, pitching my writing to broader outlets, getting started on that Kansas City soundscape project I’ve been dreaming about? All of that is a big question mark. Where do I begin?

2013 will be about not being afraid, of trying something new. Maybe that something new is pitching my writing to a non-academic venue. Maybe that something new is a blog series. Maybe that something new is embracing my freelance side. Maybe that something new is not fearing the questions, but staring them in the face.

Dear readers and writers: what would you pursue if you did not fear failure?

P.S.: Because now this song is stuck in my head…

On The Air

“Creative Process Still Life” by Flickr user ~Cin~

This Monday, I will be on the air with Ben from Literature Review HQ to talk about the writing process–specifically, I will be talking about understanding one’s writing process in order to improve one’s writing. It’s a free webinar but you have to register online in order to participate. (Click here if you’re interested.)

If you know me and/or you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that once upon a time I didn’t have any confidence in my ability to teach others about writing. I thought that I had no training, so I shouldn’t be left alone in a classroom to talk about writing, let alone teach writing. Literature is more my thing, I would say. I can teach literature better than writing…but my department was not about to change my courses. In fact, I didn’t get to teach my own literature course until my last semester of funding…an experience that affected me deeply: I enjoyed it so much that ever since I have been searching for the next opportunity to do it again…

At any rate, I learned the hard way how to teach writing. I watched others. I asked questions. I looked up exercises. I tried a textbook. I tried another textbook. I assigned a paper. I changed my mind. I assigned a different paper. I went back to the first assignment. I kept this up until my last semester as a writing instructor.

After my last stint in the writing classroom, I moved to the writing center, where I was supposed to specialize in graduate student writing. Although I am technically a program associate, I read a lot about writing and break down writing to the writers who come see me. I have learned that I can actually explain writing in a way that may seem obvious to me, but that is not obvious to others.Interestingly, I feel a lot more confident talking to writers about writing than I ever was in front of the classroom.  Part of why I feel confident in that is because I have always loved writing. I admire strong sentences, interesting images, innovative ideas, different approaches. I love reading strong, smart, concise writing. My love of writing brought me here.

All this to say that I am humbled that Ben wants me to talk to his readers, and I am grateful that I can help other writers achieve their goals. I’ve come a long way. If only my students could see me now.

P.S.: This is unrelated to the podcast, but while thinking of a title for this post all I could think of was Regina Spektor’s “On The Radio.” Enjoy.